I've been reading and writing a lot recently, and boring people with discussion of change, growth and stage of consciousness and self identity. One way i came up with for understanding where i might sit (and i guess other people) is what kind of fundamental paradoxes arise for me, and how i try to solve them. People don't tend to change that much at one time, even the 'correct' answers only make sense if a particular 'question' has arisen within awareness. I think this is the real value of a community like this one. A place where we can post the fundamental issues that concern us, the ones that the mind just can't concieve of an answer being possible, but doesn't want to dismiss. I think these sorts of questions are the real sign of an emergence in consciousness, an deep seated need to solve (or disolve) such questions.
Its good for me to share that. Its silly to face it alone. I don't think they have to appear academicor quote theorists, but often i find it natural to do so. One of my favourite quotes is from a Zen swordmaster Shissai:
"A warrior is measured according to this: That he learns from the dregs of the ancients and extracts clear liquid from them"
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The following is a quotation from a book which is an overview of this man who is a mentor of sorts for my father:
He described himself as someone who pursues apparently contradictory thoughts "until the fog of my confusion gives way, slowly, to the clarity of thought,"
adding, after a pause,
"I only wish that part about 'clarity of thought' were true."
from "The Skeptical Visionary: A Seymour Sarason Education Reader" (Fried, 2003: p.2)
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